Relationship

Tips For The First Date After Meeting Online – Calm Your Nerves Down!

First dates are as scary as they are exciting. More so if you are meeting up for the first time offline. But hey, you can still enjoy this date!


Written by Manal Yahya

On Mar 24, 2023 – 11 minutes read

Tips For The First Date After Meeting Online – Calm Your Nerves Down

Almost everything has changed with time. And of course, the dating world has turned upside down with time. Finding a partner has become simpler for Gen Z, and more interesting. Meeting the “love of your life” or “the one” at some library on a cozy morning or at a cafe on a rainy evening is way too old and outdated now. In this virtual world, even your love could be found online. With butterflies packed and swarmed. 

Tips For The First Date After Meeting Online

After finally agreeing to take the relationship offline, you will be thrilled and nervous at the same time. Understandable, as, it’s not every day you meet someone online and meet them in person for real. But if you are, don’t pull your hair out yet. I know that you are nerve wrecked to the point that you want to be done with it already. 

tips for the first date after meeting online

At the end of it, you will be down to two options; you might run for the hills or this could the last first date you will ever have! Not exactly the words to calm a person, but stop picking your nails and consider the normalcy of the situation as this is not the end of your life. So go ahead and give it a go! 

Pro tip: Calm your nerves as this is just an hour or two of your day.

Chances are the person you are going to meet will be as anxious as you are. Because the unknown is scary to all of us. Do you know how many people meet and date online? According to the research conducted by Pew Research Center in 2022, about half of never-married Americans have used an online dating site or app. About a quarter (26%) of married adults under 50 say they have used an online dating platform, compared to just 8% of married adults ages 50 and older (1). I wonder how many of them made it to the first date. On the bright side, look at how every aspect of the world is evolving with time!

11 Tips For The First Date After Meeting Online – Online To Offline

Here I have the ultimate universal tips for the first date after meeting online you could use to ace this. Let these tips help you go meet him with confidence. 

Another pro tip: pop a mint!

Make sure you are ready for the date

Are you mentally and emotionally prepared to have this first date? Ask yourself. You need to see where you are at your current stage. Meeting someone off the virtual world means letting them into your life. Do you feel this is too soon? You might only be talking to the guy for a week or two. But if you are looking for something casual and just a fling, you can go ahead, making sure the guy is not some creep. On the other hand, if you are looking for something long-term and serious, give it some more time to seal the deal of the date. Get to know him more and make sure that you are fine with him being as he is and wants to give this a chance. 

meeting someone for the first time after knowing them online

However, do not spend weeks talking to a guy online before meeting him in person. Delaying the date will make you drained because of all those feelings and emotions building for this person. Getting attached is not wise before a first date in person. If you are emotionally ready, get over with it and plan the next one. 

Tips For The First Date After Meeting Online: Don’t set the bar too high

Another surprising fact is that the first date is not exactly the “real first date”. It is more of a “meet-and-see” date that confirms the real first date that follows a few days later. You are meeting this person for the first time from the virtual to the real world. So it could be entirely different from what you expect after knowing only the digital aspects of someone [which is never enough].

He could be sensible and smart online but unbearable in person. Or a great guy on the phone and a bore off the phone. You never know! So, don’t get your hopes up because expectations are not often met. See the date as just an opportunity to meet someone compatible, nothing more and nothing less. 

Suggest somewhere public

Next one on the list of tips for the first date after meeting online is to choose a place where there are people around you(2). Safety comes first, duh. Not just that, but also to not make it more awkward with silence and dead conversation. After knowing a few things about him, you will know where to go that both of you will agree to. Ask him if he likes to do any activity to take him to the game center. Choose an interesting venue, not the same old diners where you see only the “button-down” personality.

Great choices for a first date are a trip to a museum [not if you are interested], a zoo, an amusement park, a picnic at a park, bowling or golf, or a coffee shop for a coffee. Dates should be fun, so choose a fun place! All these places will show their “fun” side. 

online relationships meeting first time

The worst choices for a first date are movies, bars, and dinner. Big fat no. There is no way you can talk to the guy, let alone interact and get to know if you go to a movie. A movie sounds pointless on a first date. And bars are loud and you will have to scream for him to hear you talk. On the other hand, dinner can be your worst nightmare if the guy is a jerk. Here we are talking about sitting and staring at each other for one or two hours straight to a dead-end conversation. 

Set up a back-up 

Tips for the first date after meeting online keep the date short. For that, you should go for a cup of coffee from where you can leave by thirty minutes at the top of the date is not going well. And you can always go for dinner if he is great enough to spend more time with. Just say the classic “I’m hungry” and watch the date getting cozy. 

meeting someone you met online in real life

Again, go somewhere you have been to before or somewhere you are comfortable and feel at home. That familiarity will calm your nerves down, if not already gone. But always keep a backup plan! If the date goes downhill after ten minutes itself, make your move. 

Let someone know where you are

Apart from the guy being a total creep or dangerous, this could also be your backup plan. A friend or anyone you inform can save you, literally and figuratively, if the date is horrible. The majority of the people you meet from online sites or social media platforms(3) are likely to be genuine and trustworthy. But if in case you are on the other side of luck, you need to inform someone about your location. After all, it is still a stranger. Better be safe than sorry.

Consider the do’s and don’ts about dressing

Your dress will, to an extent, define you. To be more specific, the way you dress will define you. So, show your personality through your choice of clothes. Keep the venue in mind while ruffling your wardrobe. You don’t want to walk into a zoo in an LBD(4)

meeting someone for the first time after texting

Don’t go overboard with the way you dress for the date. Avoid going in thinking that if you dress up in a certain way the date will go the way you want. That’s false thinking which has every chance to be a total mistake. Try not to let your expectations dress you up.

Then again, it is not a good idea to dress nonchalantly either, making him think that you hadn’t given a thought about what to wear. Your date deserves a little respect and effort from your side. How would you feel if he comes in looking like he took no effort at all? Be a lady, remember? 

Tips for the first date after meeting online: Know when to talk and when to listen

A date is all about getting to know each other. If you haven’t already exhausted all the topics before the meeting, this date is definitely for you! Ask him questions about him that you couldn’t ask him online. If he is an introvert, first and foremost, you should do is make him comfortable while respecting his personal space. As you would want.

first face to face meeting

Ask him the right questions. Not the icebreakers like hobbies and favorite food, which you must already know. Take online relationships offline, and get serious about what you ask. You can ask him about his priorities, views, and expectations on relationships, belief systems, ideas, and much more. His personal opinions on general topics.

Then, listen to him attentively when he answers. Listen to not reply, but to understand. You can see the real passion in the eyes when someone is talking about something they love. Make sure you keep eye contact while talking and interacting. Share your views and ideas with him too. So that both of you know where you stand with each other. 

Keep your manners in check

Be a lady and leave a good impression of yourself. Be a pleasant date. First, be punctual and be on time. Don’t ever be late on a first date. That date will start badly leaving a pretty bad impression. Don’t make him think that you don’t care about his schedule. Waiting for someone on the first date is not fun. 

what to do on a first date with a guy you met online

Second, keep your phone away. Nobody likes it when their date’s eyes and attention go to their phone and not on them. Even if the date doesn’t interest you anymore, don’t make him feel bad by paying more attention to your phone. Third, don’t steer the conversation to you, your interests, your ideas, etc. A date is not a monologue. Fourth, no matter how much of a jerk he is, do not forget your table manners. Keep up the good etiquette and your classiness. 

Fifth, split the bill. Offer to pay for whatever is it that you had. Most of the guys will insist on paying and decline your offer which is his job. But the offering is your job. And finally, you can leave the date by ending it off but not in a rude way. Tell him politely that it was nice to finally meet him but you have to go. He will get the hint. 

Don’t dig up the ex or mention the past

Who likes to hear or talk about their date’s past relationships? None. It’s the first date, for crying out loud! Your “ex” topic is the fourth or fifth date topic. Don’t get too personal on the first date itself. The first offline date is as cryptical as your first online date. You don’t even know if you are going to see the guy after that day.

meeting someone you met online

If he asks you anything about your past relationships, try to change the topic. Or if you really trust them already, talk about it for a few minutes and no more. Besides, you don’t want him to feel like a rebound after a healing wound if you recently had a breakup that is. Ex is the past for a reason. So don’t go around asking him about that either. He might feel attacked, just like you would.

Don’t get worked up

Try not to overthink and imagine it to be something horrible when you have no idea how it will actually go. And don’t waste the date by wondering whether you are connecting or not the whole time you are with him. Either you will, or you won’t. Getting worked up over it won’t do any good. I say go with the flow. Have a good laugh, enjoy yourself, and have fun! That is what dating is about. Remind yourself he is not a complete stranger, if it helps you. But most importantly, watch out for red flags! 

how do you greet your first online date?

Go with an open mind. This might work out great in the end, or not. As I said, it’s not marriage. Give it a chance and be open-minded about whatever the outcome of the date is. 

Be Honest

Be clear about your intention. Let him know what you want. You should know for yourself if he has the qualities you look for in a guy. At least from what he has already told you. If he is a smoker and you don’t even like being near one, give him a hint. Don’t lead him on. If you find qualities that you won’t be able to not find fault in, let him know.

how do you go on virtual first dates?

Why drag this long if it is not going to last? Be honest about being casual(5) or serious about the date. Be open about how you feel. Let him know if you’re wanting to spend more time with him or are calling it quits. Be straightforward if you would like to plan a second date with a simple text, “I had a great time and I’d like to do it again.” Honest. Simple. Easy.

The first dates are like testing the waters with baby steps. The job is either to make a relationship or break a relationship. Now, in this case, you already know a thing or two about the person. You must have a good relationship already. But in the worst-case scenario, he doesn’t match up to any of your expectations. Break it. You can always keep him as your close-knit friend if you don’t want to completely cut him off. Best case scenario? He is more than you expected and is more fun in person. Then you make the relationship. Sit back and relax, let these tips do the job. 

  1. Pew Research Center. (2023). About half of never-married Americans have used an online dating site or app.[online] Available at:

    https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/24/the-never-been-married-are-biggest-users-of-online-dating/
  2. National Academy of Sciences. (2020). Marital satisfaction and break-ups differ across on-line and off-line meeting venues. [online] Available at:

    https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2016/02/11/15-percent-of-american-adults-have-used-online-dating-sites-or-mobile-dating-apps/
  3. The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. (2016).Information Technology and Moral Values. [online] Available at:

    https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/it-moral-values/
  4. wikipedia.org. (n.d).Little Black Dress. [online] Available at:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_black_dress
  5. John Wiley & Sons, Inc. (1999-2020). The Start of Your Selling Relationship: Getting Started with an Honest Foot Forward. [online] Available at:

    https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781118256206.ch10

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Manal

Manal is a lifestyle influencer who has spent years delving into the world of beauty, fashion, and wellness- a pro when it comes to anything woman.

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