Sexual Health

Signs That A Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active!

Hanky-panky no more? It shows, babes!

Written by Rani Premkumar

On Oct 30, 2023 – 13 minutes read

signs a woman has not been sexually active

It is not gibberish that sex is a natural instinct and biological function in all living beings, including human beings. In human beings, factors like age, intelligence, attractiveness, education, health, etc. determine sexual desirability. There are lots of signs that a woman has not been sexually active.

Sexual activity is a matter of personal choice. It is not reliant on spousal availability because if you want to relieve your sexual pangs, you can always masturbate. Thanks a lot, fingers! To add to it, we do have modern gadgets to aid in our orgasmic goals- be it vibrators, dildos, rabbit vibrators…you name it! Some may not agree to naming masturbation a sexual act, because you are engaging with yourself. Maybe it is your finger and a fantasy, or a sex toy and your playfulness–you can still nail an orgasm. 

What Causes A Woman To Not Be Sexually Active?

Since women are emotional beings it’s easy to notice the signs that a woman has not made love for a long time. This may be an outdated concept, but even modern-day women don’t get turned on by just a six-pack. To get a woman aroused and to sustain it, it requires effort. There may be a plethora of reasons for having a dry spell in the bedroom. 

What Causes A Woman To Not Be Sexually Active

Being Single

It is a no-brainer that you may not have many opportunities to be sexually active if you are single. Women may not generally look out for one-night stands as getting up to a stranger on a daily basis may not be comfortable or right for moral, hygienic, or safety reasons, though picking up a hot guy at a pub is a fantasy many movies have fed us with.

Being single and without sex toys or fantasy can create a desert in the lower realms. It is not just physical attractiveness that turns a woman on. The vast majority of women need commitment and stability to be able to have sex.

Her Health Condition

The health issues of the lady and her partner are definitely a mood dampener. Though sex is advised as an antidote to many health conditions like migraines, it not be practical to have sex in many conditions where the body should not strain. Fractures, spine injuries, back pain, leg issues, etc. are problems that proscribe sexual activity. Your mental health and well-being can also play a role in your interest in sex.

Her Religious Beliefs

Religious beliefs may cause women to not have sex. During the Sabbath, many devotees may refrain from having sex. Different religions have special days and different customs that recommend abstinence. Some do preach that sex, which is not the purpose of procreation will be deemed to be lust, which brings a negative connotation to sex, which may encourage women not to be active in sex. In many religions, sex out of wedlock is considered a sin.

Lack of Interest in Sex/Partner

Women may not be sexually active if they find their partner not loving enough. If there is no emotional connection, many women will keep away from coitus.

Other reasons like lack of hygiene, ill health, and unattractiveness can also be reasons for not having an interest in your partner.

There may be a reasonable expectation of foreplay and lovemaking that is expected and when reality falls short, a woman will feel frigid in bed. Sex experts say that foreplay starts long before you hit the bed- which means a man should exhibit covert and overt ways of flirting to get the woman interested in getting into bed with him.

mental changes that affect the sex life

Premature Ejaculation of Her Partner

“Gentlemen will finish last” is the sex motto that gets crashed due to premature ejaculation. A woman may feel insulted when he ejaculates when she is completely aroused and has not climaxed yet. She may hesitate to do another run. She feels bad when she is dropped mid-way because he climaxes.

Busy Schedules

Being busy may sound trite. But if the partners have different timings in the job or if they are employed in different places, it takes more effort to sustain the emotional connection needed for having sex. Being tired from a long day at work or tedious travel can also cause a dry spell in the boudoir.

Signs That a Woman Has Not Been Sexually Active

You do not need to be a mentalist to understand that a woman has not been sexually active. There are some tell-tale signs.

Physical Signs

  • She is reluctant
  • She is aggressive in bed
  • She seeks attention on social media
  • She is too clingy
  • She does not respond to foreplay


  • She is underconfident
  • She tries too hard to please
  • She is extra attentive and motherly
  • She is easily aroused 

Social Signs

  • She is jealous
  • She makes public displays of affection
  • She is submissive
  • She is workaholic
  • She defends platonic ties

Physical Signs

1. She is reluctant

The most obvious of the signs a woman has not been sexually active is her reluctance to get back in the game. She will take time to get cozy and will need a good amount of foreplay before getting into action. She may act coy but would give you the green signal. It will be super confusing for the male.

2. She is aggressive in bed 

A major signs that a woman has not been sexually active is her Aggressive behavior in bed and outside the bedroom which leads to not having sex with her partner. Women should be touched as a woman. Feeling like they are raped by their partner won’t usually get a woman turned on. If the partner has no consideration for the pain or discomfort of the lady, she may find sex uninteresting and filthy. Simple! A woman may not be interested in a partner if she is forced to engage in sexual positions or practices she is not comfortable in.

3. She seeks attention on social media

Another sign a woman has not been sexually active is her open social media accounts, where she posts more pictures trying to get the attention of others. She may entertain random comments from random people. Their posts will be more about physical appearance than life experiences. She will be online late at night.

4. She is too clingy

Another one of the obvious signs a woman has not been sexually active is her clinginess to the man. She may call him many times, seek repeated validation, and ask your opinions on anything and everything. She may appear clingy and underconfident. You may need to understand that it is a fragile situation and take it forward responsibly. She may want you to spend the night with her and may act possessive. She may start dreaming about the future with the man early on in the relationship.

5. She does not respond to foreplay

That she does not respond to sensuous foreplay is one of the depressing signs that a woman has not been sexually active. She may feel reluctant to let go, especially if she has been ‘sex dieting ‘willingly for multiple reasons. She might feel stressed to get back into action no matter how elaborate and sensual the foreplay has been.

Emotional & Psychological Signs

1. She is underconfident

She may stutter in the midst of flirting. She may seem uneasy when you make a move on her. Her taking the initiative may seem phoney, all of which may indicate that she has not been sexually active.

2. She tries too hard to please

Women enjoy the attention and play the naughty bad girl with the guy they love. They enjoy the tension on the guy’s face when they throw anger tantrums. But some women may go to any extent to please the man. A woman trying hard to please a man can be an underlying sign of a woman who has not been sexually active. She may want to prove that no one else can love the man like she does because she feels insecure and underconfident.

3. She is extra attentive and motherly

Motherliness is one of the huge signs that a woman has not made love for a long time. She obsesses over his routine, food, lifestyle, etc. S. She usually acts like a mother, not a partner.

4. She is easily aroused 

A good sign a woman has not been sexually active is her over-sensuousness. She may make attempts to dress in a sexy way, moan during foreplay, and act like she is a sex siren. She also uses a deep pitch while talking to you and behaves in a way to make you feel more manly she might overdo her lip and eye makeup and draw attention to the cleavage with a low-neck dress.

Social Cues

1. She is jealous

A sign that a woman has not been sexually active for some time is her jealousy towards her friends who have a healthy sex life. She may shun their company or act aloof because she feels inferior to them or feel like an oddball among them.

2. She makes public displays of affection

PDAs are one of the ostentatious signs that a woman has not been sexually active. She would make deliberate attempts in the public to show that she has a partner and that they are having great sexual chemistry. Women usually do not enjoy public displays of affection, but a man does. When a woman is all for PDAs in public and on social media, it points to the fact that she is not sexually active but is desperately trying to pretend otherwise.

3. She is submissive

Submissiveness is one of the signs that a woman has not been sexually active. She may love to be dominated in action, acting like the baby girl in the scenario because she has lost touch with the art, or maybe she does not know how to do it right.

4. She is workaholic

Some may try to show that they are super professional to hide the obvious signs that point out that a woman has not been sexually active. She may not enjoy parties, drinks, social life, or dirty jokes. She will have an air of perfectionism and professionalism around her. 

5. She defends platonic ties

Women enjoy courtship and flirting games. But some may advocate Platonism. She will see sex as something that will make relationships impure. Overemphasizing Platonism and yogic lifestyles are signs a woman has not been sexually active.

What Happens To Your Body When You Are Not Sexually Active?

If not into the ‘dirty’ act for a long time, the body may undergo some changes. Sexual activity is known to impact various aspects of a person’s biology.

Immunity: The immune system in the body may go out of whack, as sex promotes the release of endorphins, which helps the body to ward off diseases. A study among college students pointed out that those who have regular sex were found to have high amounts of immunoglobulin in their saliva which would boost immunity. 

changes occur in Your Body When You Are Not Sexually Active.

Cardiac Health: Regular sex is also great for cardiac health.

Vaginal Health: Sex or masturbation keeps the vaginal tissues healthy by improved blood circulation in the zone. If out of touch for a long time, it will take longer for the lady to get aroused and lubricated for the act.

Menstrual Cycle: When a woman has not been sexually active, she may have painful menstruation and those post menopause will have their vaginal muscles tightened, which can cause bleeding and injury during sex, which will make women more reluctant to have sex.

Stress levels: You will feel more anxious and stressed as you will not feel like sharing your stressors with your partner due to the lack of connection that you feel due to sexual disconnect, as you are not sexually active.

Sleep: Being not sexually active can affect your sleep. As I mentioned earlier, you may feel more stressed and anxious because you have not been active in sex, which could affect your sleep patterns. Sex releases hormones like oxytocin and endorphins which aid you in feeling less stressed, this giving you some quality shut eyes.

What Happens When A Woman Is Not Sexually Satisfied?

#1. It affects the relationship

Not being sexually satisfied is a gigantic issue, especially when you are not satisfied with the sex with your stable partner. It affects the relationship dynamics. If there is no healthy relationship between the partners, the relationship will seem superficial and not stable. Two-timing or extramarital relationships pop up because of the inadequacy felt in the relationship. ‘I have no desire for my husband’ is a not-so-uncommon complaint in married women. When a woman is not sexually satisfied, it leaves her with feelings of inferiority and undesirableness.

#2. It gives rise to bad temper

Bad temper is another backlash of anger that comes when women are not sexually satisfied. She will feel disgruntled. She feels incompleteness. She may throw angry tantrums. She feels high tempered in general. It will be like living with a potential bomb, which is waiting to explode any moment. This could be a major sign of signs that a woman has not been sexually active.

#3. It results in low self esteem

Low self-esteem is an outcome of an unsatisfactory sex life. Women may feel repressed feelings and feel miserable on the inside. They may feel they are physically or aesthetically inferior and unwanted. They may feel jealous of their sexually active peers. This leads to low sex drive(2).

How to Create Desire in a Woman? 

Hygiene, attention and care, compliments, and talking dirty can do the trick. Hygiene and taking steps to groom oneself will give a man bonus points when you try to approach her seductively. A man could also do some nonobvious dirty talks with sexual innuendos which could turn her on.

Tricks and Tips to Create Desire in a Woman

  • Talk dirty
  • Pay attention to hygiene and grooming
  • Compliment her
  • Take her to movies, social gatherings and scenic locations
  • Involve more foreplay
  • Encourage her to use toys
  • Suggest counseling

Then comes the compliments which can pave the way to any woman’s heart. A woman is praised for her looks, dressing sense, and intelligence. When you see signs that a woman has not made love for a long time, take her to the movies, social gatherings, and scenic locations to show that he is proud to have her as a part of his life.

How To Create Desire In A Woman?

The Perks Of Being Sexually Active

She Will Be Comfortable In Her Own Skin

You will feel more confident if you have been sexually active. You may not fixate on the flaws your body has. You will be more confident as you feel more desirable.

You Will Be Able To Speak Up

You will feel more confident to discuss with your partner what you like in the sack. You will be open to trying out new and exciting things with your partner as well. You will be able to understand each other’s needs better. Positive vibes will radiate into every aspect of your relationship.

More Partner Time

You will prioritize your partner no matter how busy you are. You will do something fun and relaxing together and find time to perk each other up. You will also make sure that you have sex regularly and go out on date nights like you always did.

You Will Become Confident And Radiant

The glow-up is real! The after-sex glow will show and you will feel confident to take on the world as it is. You will feel loved and wanted. This confidence will radiate into the other areas of life which need it.

At What Age Does a Woman Stop Being Sexually Active?

There is no stopping age for sex. Women become more sexually active during their twenties, physically. But due to work and pressures of life, including pregnancy and child-rearing, it slumps during the thirties. Fifty’s and sixty’s are great for the sex since there are lesser risks of getting pregnant. Hence, carefree sex during that time is a great impetus to having more. It is true that age may cause inconveniences like illnesses, lack of flexibility, and post-menopausal dryness. But women can be sexually active at any age and they do not stop being sexually active at any particular age(1).

At What Age Does A Woman Stop Being Sexually Active

What Causes a Woman Not to Have Sexual Feelings?

The lack of libido could be a result of anything such as marital discord, poor health, menopause-related discomforts, professional pressures, etc. Women need time to steam up and cool down. A considerate and loving man can melt any iceberg of frigidness. Childbirth and related responsibilities also make a woman lose sexual feelings. Lack of foreplay and domination in bed by men will also leave a woman dry below. It takes time and effort on both sides to have a satisfying roll in the hay.

Being sexually active or not is a matter of individual preference. Situations, health, ideologies, partners, and libido- all have a marked influence in determining how and how much you want it. Understanding if a woman has been sexually active can help you to be more compassionate and reassuring toward her. After all, out of touch is not out of mind! Be the awesome self you are always.

  1. American Medical Directors Association, Inc. (2013).Sexual activity and aging. Available (Online) at:
  2. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). (1998-2003).low-sex-drive-in-women. Available (Online) at:

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Rani is a women’s lifestyle coach with a knack for translating high fashion into accessible, everyday looks. She has helped countless women embrace their personal style, fostering confidence and self-expression.

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