Journey Of Self-Pleasure: How To Give Yourself An Orgasm?

Who can give you a better orgasm than yourself? Here is the answer to the billion-dollar question–how to give yourself an orgasm!!

Written by Rani Premkumar

On Apr 16, 2023 – 13 minutes read

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A recent archaeological find of what looks like a model of a human phallus gives us a peek into the sexual liberalization of the Greeks through what may be interpreted as a sex toy. Sex is a universal thing and more understanding about it prevails now than ever. The art of pleasuring oneself is no longer an enigma, especially with sex toys, healthy porn, and amorous literature. Art has evolved and includes women in it not as an object but as a subject of pleasure. How to give yourself an orgasm is not a taboo topic anymore. Female orgasms have more scientific push due to advancements in medical science.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm?

Learning how to give yourself an orgasm is vital. Consider these scenarios.

You are single, All your friends might be discussing their sexual experiences while you are feeling left out. Worse still, when all your friends are married and comparing notes, while you prioritize your career and are waiting for your promotion. You do not want to have random partners, nor are you good at picking ones at the pub or beer joints.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm?

You are married, but you have limited quality time: Sex is more complex than masturbating. Common logic- two people, different drives. It takes time to get acquainted with each other’s turn-ons. Let’s say you both are working at different places and you get to meet only on weekends. Or if you are super busy working different shifts, only having Sundays at your disposal. You cannot just jump onto the sack and make love like animals. You can learn how to give yourself an orgasm the real way and satisfy yourself. Let’s just face it- men do it when they want. Why can’t we?

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm And Why?

You have a lover but you are waiting up till marriage: Religious approbation could be a question for many who are a little capricious when it comes to sex. If you are among the religious-minded and the non-risk takers, you can surely learn how to give yourself an orgasm.

Your Partner Is No More Interested In Sex

You may have an extant sex drive while for your partner it has extinguished. Or your partner would have come out of the closet and declared that he is gay, but you do not want to get a divorce due to maybe children, family, security, embarrassment, etc. You do not need to go out throwing yourself at strange men. It might not be your thing and it is a lot risky given the STDs, HPVs, crime rates, etc. 

Unsatisfied Partner

It is about your sex drive and your availability of a partner, which will decide whether you should pleasure yourself seriously. But there are some who are not satisfied with the methodology of the partner or the end result. They are soft targets of the ‘ hunter men’ and the resultant promiscuity, which will further complicate the whole relationship.

In any of these scenarios, the lessons on how to give an orgasm to yourself, are relevant and fetching. The topic–how to give yourself an orgasm- is not a taboo anymore. In a sense, it was never so. In the ancient textbook of sex, the Kamasutra, there have been mentions of the art of pleasuring oneself. 

The art of pleasuring yourself is some skill, the mastery of which will be extremely rewarding mentally, physically, and spiritually. Being sexually not active can create a hell of a lot of physical and psychological problems for women. It affects their self-confidence, immunity, fitness, mood, etc. Orgasms release dopamine and endorphins, which make them feel good.

Unfortunately, humans do not come with a user manual on how to give yourself an orgasm. But there are numerous ways to learn it and it is worth learning them.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm? Benefits Of Orgasm In Women

Regular orgasms can help us in more ways than we can imagine. We can physically and mentally benefit from orgasms. Orgasms have been linked to improved cardiovascular health as well. It helps to keep breakouts at bay. Orgasms can give you the much-needed blood flow to your face to keep you radiant. It can also increase the blood circulation at your scalp and give you a better mane. A study concluded that women who enjoy regular orgasms have a decreased risk of developing heart disease and type-2 diabetes.

Research has also shown that orgasms can reduce cramps- which is an accompanying evil of menstruation- as the endorphins and corticosteroids help combat pain. It is also believed that orgasms might help regulate your menstrual cycle. It is also believed that orgasms might strengthen your immune system. The pelvic floor muscles can be strengthened with the help of orgasms.

It also helps us emotionally by boosting our self-confidence. When we climax with an orgasm, the brains get flooded with endorphins- the feel-good hormone. This helps us fight depression and can make the bond with our partner stronger. The release of oxytocin and dopamine following an orgasm can make us feel peaceful and relaxed, which in turn helps us have good-quality shut eyes. Orgasms sure keep you happy. This is why it is pertinent to learn how to give yourself an orgasm so that you can enjoy the goodies, even when you fly solo.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm? The Erogenous Anatomy Of A Female

Women get aroused around the nipples, breasts, stomach, belly button, neck, and genitals. There are different favorite spots for each woman.


I got you there, didn’t I? C- spot is just another fancy name for the clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening. It is said to be the most sensitive feel-good zone and the source of female sexual pleasure due to its high concentration of nerve endings. The glans clitoris is the external part of the clitoris which is pea-sized and located above the urethra. Above it is the clitoral hood formed by two sides of the labia minora. Connected to the glans clitoris is the body of the clitoris, which projects upwards into the pelvis and attaches to the public bone. When both sides of the vaginal canal swell, lubrication happens. It increases sexual stimulation and sensation.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm? The Erogenous Anatomy Of A Female

G- Spot

The G-spot on the anterior vaginal wall is supposed to be the erotic center. Its heightened sensitivity makes it an orgasm ticket. Researchers disagree on the G-spot location. Dr. Ernst Grafenberg discovered and named it. The latest research suggests that the clitoris extends into the vagina in a horse-shoe shape and that stimulating the G-spot may stimulate the clitoris. When lying down, slide your finger in and feel a few inches inside the upper vaginal wall to find the G-spot. Individual placement may vary. Due to its proximity to the urethra, finding the G-spot may make some pee. G-spot stimulation can cause squirting and longer-lasting pleasure than clitoral stimulation.


This is not to be confused with the G-spot and can be found if you insert your finger about five inches into the vagina along the vaginal wall so that you have it stuck at the cervix. Sometimes it will take one whole finger to reach the A- spot, mostly the middle finger. You may have to lie on your back and bend your knees towards the chest to try A-spot penetration by making a gentle scooping motion along the front wall of the vagina. Some are better off using sex toys like dildos because of the depth.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm? Preparatory Steps Towards Pleasuring Oneself

Lack of mood? sexually inactive? How To Give Yourself An Orgasm? prepare yourself by these tips:

Setting The Scene

Pomodoro cannot set this. Yes, you should schedule time to get in the mood for self-love. No need for nighttime. Think ahead to elaborate. You could eat chocolate or ice cream. Shower and adjust the room temperature. Hopefully, you can do it in privacy! You can use your favorite creams to smell and touch. It’s great to watch your body while acting, so go without lights or dim them. Some adjust their mirror to gain confidence by watching themselves. If romantic things turn you on, keep them handy. The most crucial step is turning off phones. For earth-shattering orgasms, relax your mind. Diffuse your favorite scents.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm Through Different Tools

Your finger is your best tool. But you can get your favorite sex toy, be it rabbit vibrators or dildos. You could use your fingers perfectly well. But some want to get some machine action with different vibratory modes and pulses. Some can go with their hands! But if you want to have both your hands free for overall caressing, then sex toys may come in handy.

Fingers or sex toys- it must be a priority to have them cleaned thoroughly before you put them inside your holy spot. Make sure that your nails are properly trimmed and clean so that you can avoid micro tears from your fingering. If you cook spicy food, you may have residues of chili or pepper in your fingers. If you do not want extra spice in your action, make sure that your hands are properly cleaned.

Mental Prep

How to give yourself an orgasm mentally? Apart from physical its important to be prepared mentally as well. physically you can do anything but to enjoy the actual pleasure one has to be mentally prepared.

Romantic jazz or soothing music can set the mood. You could also pick porn. Mental relaxation techniques like breathing from one nostril, holding it, and releasing it through the other for two to three minutes will get the blood flowing.

Stretch on the bed and touch yourself. Books and movies can inspire fantasies. You could also remember a great sexual encounter. You can role-play mentally. Whatever helps you relax and focus between your legs is fine. Yes! “Concentrate,” I said. Orgasming while fiddling is difficult. It requires focus. Lavender essential oils help you relax.

Techniques For Self-Stimulation

we all know what self-stimulation is and the impact of self-stimulation in mental health, wonder how to give yourself an orgasm by stimulating yourself? Few women, even when young, achieve orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, It takes direct stimulation of the clitoris for most.

Techniques For Self-Stimulation

Clitoral Stimulation

How to give yourself an orgasm through clitoral stimulation. You could get comfortable with your erogenous zones and play with them to bring yourself into the mood. You could fantasize, read or watch some porn. Using your fingers or sex toy like a vibrator stimulates the clitoris. Some use the pressure from the jacuzzi or the showerhead to get into the flow. Now press the magic button- the clitoris. You can move your finger up and down, taking the aid of the wetness or the lube.

Most girls become wet when they get turned on mentally. Gentle back-and-forth motions or circular motions will get the nerve endings stimulated. You need to apply steady light pressure on the clitoris. Take this as a fun thing and enjoy the process until you climax with a good orgasm. It takes practice and effort, but once you master the right pressure, move, and movement of fingers, you will be the master of the craft of how to give an orgasm to yourself. Some may find stimulating certain places more exciting and stimulating. It varies from person to person.

G-Spot Stimulation

The G-spot is about two inches in and one inch up inside of the vagina. You will be able to find it better when you are aroused as it tends to swell as it is like a sponge. When the G-spot is stimulated, it pushes against the mons pubis, which pushes against the clitoris and clitoral ligaments, which cause pleasure. To reach the G-spot, which is inside the vagina but looks like the one behind the clitoris, push your finger in a “come hither” manner.

To reach the G-spot, lie down, spread your legs, and put your finger in. Fingers or sex toys can imitate a penis. Sex toys like rabbit vibrators are designed in such a way that they can give you both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. It can get to your G- spot and pulsate in the way you want to make you go gaga!

You can touch your other erogenous zones(1)and get goosebumps while screaming… yesss…

A Spot Stimulation

You may think the A-spot is accessible from behind. However, it stimulates deep inside the vagina. Anal penetration is indirect because your anus is close to the vaginal wall, but vaginal penetration is more direct. Some are too deep for your middle finger. The anterior fornix erogenous zone is a pleasure point deep inside the vagina between the cervix and the bladder. The deep spot is deeper than the G-spot. It’s the female prostate because it’s in the same place as men’s.

Find the G-spot and go deeper. Use a sex toy to reach it. G-spot is a walnut-sized spongy patch, but A-spot cannot be felt. Rubging this sensitive tissue makes you wetter. Lying on your back, insert your fingers palm-up, fingertips curled toward your belly button. The A-spot can be stimulated by side-to-side finger movements or long swipes. Sex toys also induce euphoria. An A- or G-spot wand can help if vibrations bother you.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm With Enhancing Pleasure?

Fantasies And Visual Aids

You could use your imagination and get wet or use porn, which does not involve violence. Choosing what you see will definitely affect your psyche and mentality. Never go for porn, which treats women like objects. Watch some smooth one that will tickle you down there and get you going.

Breathing Techniques And Muscle Relaxation

How to give yourself an orgasm? For that, you should be completely relaxed prior to the act to get stimulated adequately. Breathe deeply in order to ensure proper blood flow throughout the body so that you can come properly. You could have a warm shower to relax your muscles and avoid eating a heavy meal prior to getting down to business.

Edging And Prolonging Orgasms

You can try stopping the action with a finger or a sex toy when you are very aroused. But never stop action when you are about to cum. It may frizzle off the build-up. By slowing down the action, you will be able to delay the orgasms leading to stronger ones.

How To Give Yourself An Orgasm: Different Positions And Angles 

There is no universal position or angle. It would depend on each individual what works for them. The missionary position where you are on the back is one relaxed position. You could also get on your knees spreading it wide to get better penetration. If you are using a sex toy also this will spice up the action. Do clitoral or vaginal stimulation on all fours. Stimulate the clitoris with different fingers and angles. Stroke, pinch, or tap the hot spot. The pressure you exert with your fingers also matters. In vaginal stimulation, getting to the G- spot requires you to explore different angles of penetration before becoming a pro in the game.

Safety And Hygiene Considerations

While choosing a sex toy, try to get one that is made of medical-grade materials and washable. Most of the vibrators available in the market are waterproof, which allows you to wash it with mild soap and water. You may run the risk of toxic shock syndrome characterized by nausea, fever, body pain, etc. if the product is not sanitary. Make sure you clean the tool before and after use for your sake! The next safer bet will be your fingers.

But there could be food residue or dirt lodged inside the nails. Make sure you wear your nails small and clean the whole hand thoroughly before inserting it into you. Small tears that you make with your nails or sex toys could also risk infections. Candidiasis is a common infection that comes when you do not take proper care of cleaning your fingers. It is characterized by a cottage cheese kind of discharge, which may or may not be smelly. You could feel itchy down there. It is always better not to share sex toys for you could contract STDs(2) even if you don’t have a sexual partner.


How to give yourself an orgasm?

You can give yourself an orgasm by stimulating superficially on the clitoris or by stimulating the G- spot or A- spot deeply. You can use a sex toy to reach your destination as well!

How to give yourself an anal orgasm?

It is difficult to give an anal orgasm to yourself. But you could try giving yourself one with sex toys by standing on all fours.

How to give yourself an orgasm male?

Most men masturbate with the help of fantasy or porn. They touch their penis and keep it inside the fist to move it up and down. They sometimes use lube if they cannot be lubricated enough with their own pre-cum.


Masturbation is an art that becomes perfect with practice. Given the health benefits, many women are open to flying solo. Learning how to give yourself an orgasm is very empowering, as it makes you even more independent. You will feel like you own each cell of your body by giving yourself the pleasure you deserve. Own yourself in every way and stand tall! Cheers!

  1. Ingenta.(2023). Female hot spots: extragenital erogenous zones. Available at:
  2. Elsevier B.V.(2023).An overview of sexually transmitted diseases. Available at:
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Rani Premkumar


Rani is a women’s lifestyle coach with a knack for translating high fashion into accessible, everyday looks. She has helped countless women embrace their personal style, fostering confidence and self-expression.

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