Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits – The Dilemma

Situationships vs friends with benefits is the common relation trend going on in this generation. some people have no idea what exactly they mean or how it works let’s find out what the hype is all about and why people are so much into this!

The term ‘situations’ has picked up a certain kind of momentum in the past few months. Sources say that the word ‘situations’ was founded around 2010, but never reached the public forum until 2019. Most of us use this term – not necessarily knowing its official definition and meaning, interchangeably with another popular term that rom coms have made popular – ‘friends with benefits’. Hence situationships vs friends with benefits is a new age dilemma that this generation of dating has to battle. How are they different from each other? Which one suits your needs? Let’s break the confusion once and for all.

What Is A situationship? Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits

situationships Vs friends with benefits! The debate goes on, what is actually situationship?

The Oxford Dictionary meaning for a situationship is as follows,

‘A romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established.’

A situationship hence is any casual relationship that may potentially develop into something serious. Situationship as a phase is probably a common episode in modern adult relationships – a phase where definitions and boundaries are still not clear. The modern-day usage of the word, however, is common for those undefined relationships that are entered into by choice, characterized by casual physical intimacy, in-and-out behavior, and unattached emotions.

The term by definition hence covers a broad spectrum – a major reason for the confusion surrounding it. Some pointers, though common in a situationship are –

• The relationship lacks a formal label – Formal labels may not fully encompass the meaning of the relationship.
• There are no expectations – In theory, situationships come with few expectations. Inconsistent behavior is common and sometimes even acceptable when in a situationship.
• A lack of future-oriented plans – Since it is an undefined relationship, there are no talks about the future yet.
• It is not an exclusive relationship.

The rules in a situationship help to keep it as less complicated as possible. However, this type of relationship comes with its share of red flags.

Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits: Red Flags In A Situationship

A situationship is not everybody’s cup of tea. If you are looking for an open flexible relationship that gives you space to explore, then you are on the right track. But if you are feeling anxious and worse than your usual self, you may want to reconsider if it is the best decision. Look out for these red flags –

• Your emotional well-being is at stake  – Relationships are hard but no relationship should have you doubting yourself, constantly anxious, and hindering your emotional growth and well-being. 
• You are being blindsided – Both parties in the relationship must be on the same page. If you feel like your needs and emotions are not addressed or that both of you are at a different pace, please talk with your partner.
•  You are putting in way more effort – The balance in a relationship in this case is important no matter how casual it may be.

Now let’s have a look at the most confused neighbor of situationships – friends with benefits.

Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits: What Are Friends With Benefits?

Let’s again start with the dictionary definition of the term – 

‘A friend with whom one has an occasional and casual sexual relationship.’

Unlike Situationships, Friends with Benefits is very well defined. There are clear boundaries, zero expectations, and definitely, nobody is thinking about a future together. Casual sex and distanced emotional attachment are the key characteristics of this mode of relationship.

Clear signs you are in Friends with Benefits are the following –

• You meet your partner in private – Your meetings are usually sudden private plans and rarely involve anybody else. 
• You do not introduce your Friends with Benefits partner to your friends or colleagues.
• You do not attach yourself emotionally beyond your friendship – Your relationship revolves around the ‘benefits’. There are no efforts to make each other feel special or cared for. This again is defined by the degree of friendship in the relationship.
• Your conversations revolve mainly around your desires and sexual needs from each other.

FWB relationships, as it is commonly called, become challenging when either partner gets emotionally invested in the relationship.  Often such an incident is followed by a long period of waiting – for the other person to reciprocate similar feelings. When this does not happen, things get complicated. Feelings of resentment and betrayal build up eventually ending in a catastrophe. 

Another important factor to keep in mind is that in most instances, FWB partners are good friends, to begin with. The emotional attachment and beauty of this friendship are easily at risk when they choose to be friends with benefits(1) – the benefits start defining the relationship, not the friendship.

Risks Of Friends With Benefits

On the topic situationships vs friends with benefits here we discuss risk of friends with benefits:

Apart from the above challenges, there are certain risks for friends with benefits

• Your sexual health is at risk – FWB partners are rarely exclusive and hence put each other at an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases and general health. This calls for more responsibility and communication between the partners for a healthy relationship.
• Friendship vs Casual partners – A clear demarcation between friendship and a casual relationship is a far-fetched dream in a friends-with-benefits relationship. Your reliability on the other person as a friend can get clouded and complicated because friendship is a commitment and involves trust – contradicting the terms of FWB.
• Unattended expectations – In reality, over time it is highly possible to develop an attachment to the partner though not deeply rooted resulting in certain expectations. This becomes especially difficult with married partners who may not be able to meet the expectations of the FWB partners consistently.

Situationships vs Friends with Benefits- A Comparison

Key Differences

In today’s dating scene the terms situationship and friends with benefits have become common.bother refer casual relation with no strings attached but still the debate over situationships vs friends with benefits are going on , however lets find out the differences.

• FWB relationships are much more well-defined than a situationship. Ideally, there is clear communication on what is expected from each other. Situationships on the other hand have more blurred boundaries. 
• Situationships have the potential to develop into serious relationships or eventually die down. Friends with benefits start from friendship and turn into a casual relationship with no expectations of a future together.
• FWB revolves around physical intimacy by definition. In the case of a situationship, it is not that simple. The lack of definition does not directly imply that it is all about sex.
• By nature, situationships are more sensitive and more prone to drama than FWB relationships.

Key Similarities

• Both a situationship and FWB are far from a committed lasting loving relationship, though in varying degrees.  
• Both relationships offer a level of freedom to the partners – their life is their own. They are not involved in each other’s lives like in a committed relationship
• There are red flags in both. Whether a situational or FWB relationship, there is a right and a wrong way to do it. Both modes need clear communication and a level of mutual respect to make it work.
• Being well informed about the similarities and differences between both and being well aware of the red flags is a smart way to preserve oneself in today’s crazy age of online dating. 

Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits: Which Is Better?

You can save your relationship before its too late through situationships or fwb since they both does not have any commitments or hope.

There is no absolute right or wrong. The wiser question to ask oneself would be – which is the better alternative for me? Does either of the two work for me at all? It is a question to be answered by oneself. 

Situationship – Pros And Cons

The greatest pro in a situationship is when you have met someone you share a great vibe with and you would like to give it time for the magic to happen – there is no pressure to label the relationship. In such cases, situationships can be the healthier choice, often forming the base to mature committed relationships.

The con here, however, is its very broad nature. Situationships if not handled responsibly can often end in misunderstanding and misjudgment. Clear communication lines are key to making a situationship work in a way that is healthy for both partners.

Friends With Benefits – Pros And Cons

Friends with Benefits often have a clear motive and clear expectations from both partners. Here, the logic is simple, they are friends who meet each other for casual, consensual, physical intimacy. 

FWB however can get quite ugly if one person starts developing feelings for the other. Both partners should have clear boundaries and in a case where there are unprecedented feelings, they should be addressed. 

FWB relationships can also be harmful if one person feels used or devalued. All actions must be consensual and respectful with a very clear exit option for both partners.

FAQ On Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits

Situationships Vs Friends With Benefits: Choice Is Yours!

The choice hence is quite personal – if you are looking for an intimate physical relationship with no strings attached and have great emotional control a friends-with-benefits relationship would fit you. In any other case, signing up for an FWB can easily be a ticket to disaster town. If your relationship with the person has potential, but you both are yet to get to the commitment phase, a situationship can be a healthy way to explore and get to know each other. In either case, mutual respect and consent are necessary.

The rule of thumb for any relationship is to measure how much it serves and nurtures you. An ideal relationship should be a good experience on the whole – a chance to explore, to know about yourself, to delve into different perspectives and points of view, and to explore one’s sexual side. If your relationship, serious or casual, does not empower you, you are better off without it.  

Happy Dating!