You know that you have everything a man needs in a woman to plan a second date, followed by a third one. Captivating personality? Check. Killer confidence? Check. Excellent conversationalist? Check. Beauty to compliment? Check. Flirt and win hearts? Uh-huh, not really. There goes the beep.
If you leave it to “fate” and just act “natural” on the first date, without making any attempts to flirt, you will be making a mistake knowingly. With basic first date flirting tips, you can draw him in and spark the chemistry with him. You shouldn’t miss the chance, right?
First Date Flirting Tips For Women – Spark The Chemistry With Him!
Flirting is the way to connect to someone and convey the message non verbally that you are interested in them. If you flirt in the right way with a few accidental touches along with subtle actions and maneuvering your body language, you can let him know things without saying it out loud. It is exciting and intimate but harmless and casual as well. If you play with your hair and lean in with a smile, you are saying you are interested.
If you touch his forearm or nudge him, you are saying you are attracted. Dr. Joshua Klapow(1), a clinical psychologist says, “you shouldn’t have to over-flirt to grab the attention of someone you like. If you flirt in small amounts and an authentic manner, it is much more effective.” He resembles flirting to the start of a bonfire that needs to be blown a little bit to foster a flame [without putting it out].
Flirting can totally shift the gear of your date to score a successive date. If you are looking for a first date flirting tips for women, consider the following points to improve your flirting skills.
Body Language
Use your body language to make poised and polished attempts at flirting(2). The flirting maneuver of body language tactics can help you with nonverbal communication of interest and romance. The way and manner of your first greeting will shape the rest of the date. Walk tall with a straight posture to appear confident and glamorous but smile warmly to show your welcoming persona.
Notice the way you sit. If you sit timidly and too uptight, you will look uncomfortable there. But a good posture adds to the physical attractiveness. So try to be fluid with your body to up your flirting game. You can’t even nudge him jokingly if you sit too straight throughout the date. Let loose! Don’t make him feel too intimidated or nervous. Try to mimic and mirror his body language to sync with him. Instead of focusing merely on what comes out of your mouth, focus on what your body is saying.
Obvious And Not So Obvious Touching
The most obvious, loud and clear, way of flirting is the act of touching. All those lingering touches on the right place at the right time will certainly heat things. The occasional touch on the forearm, placing the palm on the edge of his shoulder, or any other casual place appropriate for casual touches will draw him to you(3). Safe places to touch on the first date are arm, shoulder, and upper back area. Your gentle and tender touch in the middle of a conversation will surprise him and make his interest in you grow which is even scientifically proven.
But you should keep in mind that rushing into physical intimacy too soon can dim the spark way too soon. Instead of giving him a promise by being too close, show him you are interested in him by being subtle with your touch. The power of touch is that it plays a rather vital role in making physical attraction more appealing. And the exciting part is that you can also be awfully subtle about it.
You can touch him “accidentally” and play the innocent card without making things obvious. The accidental touch of the side of your hands or fingers is the common one. Or let your legs or feet touch his “accidentally” and be completely oblivious about it. But if you want to take things ahead, brush your legs or feet on him and linger for a greater impact. If he brushes back, which he most probably will leave your knee touching his. You will have many chances to touch him, take full advantage of it, and don’t miss them.
Nonverbal Eye Contact
Ever heard of eye contact flirting? If not, this is your chance to know and try it. You don’t even have to be on a date to try this. You can try this playfully when you see someone attractive on the streets. Along with a few stolen glances, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds with breaks is all you do in this. While breaking eye contact after four seconds or so is playful and flirty, you can fix your eyes onto his for longer to make things a bit more intense and intimate(4). This extended gaze will let him know that you are confident to heat things up.
But to flirt with your eyes, you need to break the contact and play coy which will make him work harder to get you to stare back into his eyes. When you are not talking, stare into his eyes and look down or away after a few seconds with a lingering smile. Play with your hair while you are at it. Because gestures like twisting your hair while stroking your cheeks are the typical eye flirt actions. This will make him feel like he has won something as eye contact flirting is basically a nonverbal statement of approval.
Playful Attitude
Unless he says something too offensive or racist, you will find yourself having fun with a playful attitude on a date. Playfulness is the basic flirting strategy. Flip or play with your hair while talking to him, run your fingers through your hair, or tease your curls while smiling at him. Insert a sly but genuine compliment into the dialogue to take him by surprise.
Be witty with your responses and mischievous too. Guys love a little back-and-forth teasing. Pull his leg out of the blow or tease him to make him laugh. Punch him lightly when he jokes around. And you should be willing to take a poke in return too. Not everything he says needs to be taken so seriously.
If you are a naturally shy person, don’t force yourself to be someone you are not by being bold all the time. Men always loved graceful and coy women, but there is a difference in being timid and shy. And, it’s completely alright to feel awkward around a guy. In fact, you can use it to your advantage to look cuter. However, pretending to be stupid will make you annoying, not cute.
Cheerful Laughter
Laughter is said to be the way to the heart. Warm smiles and hearty laughs are the definite way to the heart of a man. A woman who is cheerful and smiles seem warm and more approachable which will make the guy feel comfortable soon enough. But you can throw some flirtatious smiles at him to make it more lighthearted and exciting. Scrunch up your nose or curl your lip to appear “cute” while smiling.
If you are an excellent conversationalist already, you won’t find it difficult to have a flirty conversation. Ask silly questions and act surprised when he answers. That will lighten the mood and you will let yourself loose to have some laughs. Do laugh more to further entice him with your sense of humor. Be fun and have fun!
Blushing Tomato Face
Instead of shrugging your shoulders or trying to change the subject in the face of a compliment, blush away like a normal person. Even if any embarrassing thing you did comes up or happens to you on the date, don’t fight back the blood rush to your cheeks and ears. Your flushed face is a way to make the guy feel warm. Hence, learn to blush to win his heart.
Sensual Perfume
This is the most important and basic tip you need to remember for any date you go for. Because guys will remember and appreciate the women who smell good. Can you imagine sitting across a guy who doesn’t smell good? Or a guy who smelled like he bathed in cologne and water your eyes every time he leans in? Nobody wants that. You shouldn’t put your date through that either.
Wear a sweet-smelling yet sensual perfume liberally over your pulse points like your wrists, palms, neck, cleavage, inside the elbow, the bottom of your throat, behind your ears, and the back of your neck(5). Do not bathe yourself in a perfume that is too rich or sensual because that will clog his throat by the end of the date. For an added measure, spray a mist of your perfume into the air and walk under it to lock the perfume in your hair too. This will help you with greater impact every time you lean into him flirtatiously or walk past him. He will inhale your sensual perfume which will leave him flustered and intoxicated. Score!
Clothes For The Occasion
Choose your clothes wisely because the way you clothe yourself will benefit you in changing the gear of your date. Dress in clothes that you are comfortable in and that looks good on you. To be more precise, wear something soft and light which will drape over your body instead of something crisp making you look sharp.
Choose a soft and light shade to bring the feminine look and darker shades for a bold look. Accentuate your assets, flaunt your shoulders and curves, and do not hesitate to show some skin while keeping it classy. This will give you a confident and sexy vibe that he won’t fail to notice and you can make use of while flirting.
Heated Excitement
You have to build up the heat and excitement to make the date successful. Vary your vocal intonation to a soft whisper when you lean into telling a suggestive joke to build the excitement. You don’t need to flirt outrageously, instead, your charm with flirty expressions and blushes and teases will do the job just right. If you want to, send a flirty text message before or after the date.
Playing Hard To Get
There are high chances of an awkward moment at the end of the date. But the right kind of goodbye won’t leave a guy’s mind. If you liked the guy and had a wonderful time, let him know that subtly. As you know 14-20 inches is the personal space range for body language gestures, move closer leaving a 12-inch space to heat things(6).
If you want to kiss him, give him a hint after giving a half-body embrace. You shouldn’t give in just yet. If not, give him a peck on the cheek to not let the hope die then and there. Turn around and smile at him coyly as you walk away from him. Knowing when to drawback is important. Always play hard to get and not be easily available for him to not take you granted.
Physical Appearance
Your physical appearance and the way you present yourself will make a difference, even if you think otherwise. So, make an effort by cleaning up pretty well. Avoid heavy makeup as you don’t want to come off seductive. Stick to subtle and light nude shades to enhance your innocent face. Focus on just one bold aspect, either smokey eyes or red lips, not both. Keep your hairstyle soft and delicate to look naturally sweet and cute.
Baby Smooth Skin
When you are going for your first date, make sure that you keep your skin smooth. Moisturize your skin to make it oh-so-smooth to touch. Moisturizing your hands will keep them supple and your lingering touches on him will make him want more. Shave the hair on your arms and legs or at least the exposed skin to appear smooth. Most guys don’t appreciate hairy skin. But if you are really against that leave them be. Let him deal with it if he does like it smooth.
All of these might seem too silly for someone who doesn’t get nervous before flirting. But flirting doesn’t come easily for everyone. Some of you might get too nervous that you forget how to act around a guy. But while keeping these in your head before the first date, the nervousness will tone down a notch with you feeling like you are prepared. These are the basics you shouldn’t shrug off on a first date and it is important that you know them beforehand. Get a date, flirt, and win his heart!
RESOURCES
- Dr. Joshua Klapow. (2020) .The Kurre and Klapow Show: Flirting, Fantasies, and Shame. [Online] Available at: https://www.joshklapow.com/post/the-kurre-and-klapow-show-flirting-fantasies-and-shame
- The University of Kansas. (n.d). Research Defines More Behaviors That Reveal Romantic Attraction. [Online] Available at: https://news.ku.edu/2015/02/12/just-time-valentines-day-research-defines-more-behaviors-reveal-romantic-attraction
- ResearchGate GmbH. (2008-2020). Research Defines More Behaviors That Reveal Romantic Attraction. [Online] Available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/226228456_Flirting_with_Meaning_An_Examination_of_Miscommunication_in_Flirting_Interactions
- National Center for Biotechnology Information. (n.d). Affective Eye Contact: An Integrative Review
[Online] Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6121038/
- Perfume Society. (2020). Perfume Shopping. [Online] Available at: https://perfumesociety.org/discover-perfume/an-introduction/faq/
- The University of the Pacific. (2020). Public and Private Space. [Online] Available at: https://www2.pacific.edu/sis/culture/pub/1..5.2_-_Public_and_Private_.htm
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